How can you make your penis longer?

Forget about all those products that say they can add a few inches. Don't even think about surgery. Do you really want to put your penis under a knife? Instead, try this:

1. 
   
   There is a cuschion of fat below your belly, and just above your penis. It's there to cushion you when having vigorous sex. As you grow older, this pad thickens a few inches. This results in a smaller looking penis. Unfortunatly, crunches won't fix this. What you can do is, lose weight and keep lean. Simple, isn't it?
   


2. 
   
   Trimming the hair around your lower region can make your penis seem longer. But, if you want a tramatic effect, shave it all of!

On the Washing Machine

The washing machine makes more vibrations than any other home appliance. To bad most people don't use the full potential of their washer. The guy should be the one sitting on the washing machine. The motion will urun through your body making your penis a life-size vibrator. Put some warm water in there so your butt won't get cold.

In the Vault

To really spice-up your sex life, make a quick stop at your bank. The quites place ther is probably the safe-deposit-box room. No cameras in there, and the doors locked. Don't you think it's a great place to make a deposit and withdraw?

On a Beanbag Chair

The beanbag chair is a great place for sex. The chair can take any shape, and it'll support you in a whole lot of ways you've probably never tried before. Doggy-style is best here when she's on her belly. Remember to stick a few books under the chair to avoid sinking.

At the In-Laws House

During holiday visits, the only thing that'll make it less boring is a little covert sex. Here's a good trick for Christmas: Bring the kids gift in a plastic bag. Say you haven't wrapped them yet then go to a spare room. They'll think your wrapping the gifts. In a way, you are.

Premature ejaculation doesn't have to mean a premature end to your sex life. Keep reading to learn how to fix your pipes.

Ever heard of start-stop method? That always gets my girl mad. With all the stopping and less of the starting, she preferred we don't have sex at all. With all of my instructions - stop, slow down, okey easy, wait, stop, STOP! - things just got worse. Before, we used to use condoms. It really helped since it numbed the sensation. But when she started taking the pill, I was terrified. On my very first try without a love-glove, this is what happened: I went in, but I never came out. It all ended in one second.So, I started my quest to fix my leaky pipe.

Just so you know, you are not alone, almost two third of women say that they had sex with a man that has experienced premature ejaculation. PE is the number one problem afflicting men, not erectile dysfunction. With all the Viagra commercials I see, I wonder why they don't talk about Premature Ejaculation? By the way, Viagra wont help you with PE. Viagra will help to get the blood flowing in there, but it won't help with what's flowing out.

Here are 6 steps to beat Premature Ejaculation.

I have tried a whole lot of things. This is a list of the things that have worked for me. It's best if you do them all.

MASTER MASTURBATION

Masturbate with a woman's orgasm in mind, not your own. In other words, take your time: Work up to 15 minutes. Bring yourself close to the point of no return, but don't let the juice flow until time is up.

SQUEEZE

If you feel like blowing during masturbation or sex, stop and squeeze just below the head of your penis. Focus the pressure on the tube that goes down the underside of your penis. This technique will momentarily decrease sexual tension and will hold back your ejaculation.

PINPOINT EJACULATORY INEVITABILITY

Master and Johnson broke the process of sexual response into four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. The plateau and orgasm is what we're most worried about since most men usually crash through the latter straight into the former. The trick is to slow down and pinpoint the different feelings your going through. You have to learn to recognize your "point of no return." Rate your sexual excitement from 1-10 and try to keep yourself at 7. If you get to 8, you'll be in the resolution phase before you can say "oops!".

SEXERCISE

Do your kegels. While taking a piss, stop mid way. The muscles that you will feel flexed while holding your piss back are the ones you need to exercise. You can do it anywhere, on a bus, at the office, etc. All you do is flex those muscles for 10 seconds, then release. Do that 10 times. Stronger muscles in this area will help you hold back your milk when your almost going to blow.

PRESS, DON'T THRUST

Tease her. Press the head of your penis into her clitoral head. Linger at the entrance where the most sensitive nerve endings are. When you finally go in, focus on small shallow movements that penetrate from 2 to 3 inches. You'll last longer if you're not thrusting vigorously.

SHOW SOME COURTESY

Ladies first. Keep your woman happy. Women have the capacity to experience multiple orgasms, if you get her to the first, it will relieve you of the pressure to please and the anxiety that leads to PE. Use your fingers, use your mouth.

Women watch you very close on the first date. Read this to make sure you get a second.
Most people act their best on the first date, right? So, if you make a mistake now, she'll wonder how it will get as you go down the road. Read on to see some surprising and common mistakes men make.

You do this:

Let her decide what to do.

The right thing to do:

Take control. Offer some suggestions but let her have a little say as well. Taking the lead signals that you can take care of her. Women evaluate men on their ability to lead and take care of her.

You do this:

Be friendly to the waiter.

The right thing to do:

Don't overdo it, especially if your server is wearing a short skirt. Being nice is okey, but keep it at that. If your too nice to the waiter it'll show you're insecure and try hard for everybody to like you, not just the girl you're with. Don't. Be pleasant, but keep your smooth talk for the women you're with.

You do this:

Ask her about herself.

The right thing to do:

Truly listen, don't pretend you are. Before the end of the night you should know her best friend's name, her work, her career plans, her hobbies, and when she last saw her family. If the woman keeps on chatting, it's a good sign. Call her afterwards and mention something from what she said. That'll score you some extra points.

You do this:

Show you understand her

The right thing to do:

Don't act like a shrink. A girl will love it if she feels you have some kind of link to her subconcious, but when you say, "You're the kind of girl who...", all you're doing is pissing her off. It'll make her feel small, oversimplified, and she'll feel self-conscious. And it doesnt matter if you flattered her or not with what you said. Just pay attention to what she's saying, she'll feel you're tuned in.

Now, go and get yourself a date, hope this article helps you out. Good Luck!

Sure, you've probably gone out with tons of women. But, I'm willing to bet that you've been dating the same women over and over again.
We often go back to the same kind of women, the same personalities and/or modes of interaction. Not only does dating the same kind of women all the time become boring, it doesn't let you evolve. Check out this collection of different types of women so you'll find out what you've been missing out on - romantically and sexually - because of not mixing up your play list.

The hot sophisticate

Her strengths

This woman is funny, sexy, and spontaneous. Whenever you walk into a room with hair, everyone stares at you. They're jealous. This is the kind of women every man wants, and she's the type that makes you feel awesome when you're the one that's with her.

Her weaknesses

You got to have a whole lot of confidence to date a women like this. She Love's attention, but you can't get jealous. If you're independent she'll love your ambition, but make sure it's you she wants - not the ego boast or money in your wallet.

Her in the bedroom

She isn't the shy type and is perfectly groomed. Tell her you want her on top, preferably wearing something pricey that accentuates her breasts.

The arty hipster

Her strengths

She knows where all the cool bars are and where all the art shows with free wine are located. She's excoting and stylish but more attainable than the hot sophisticate. She would actually go for a nerd or intellectual and she cares a lot about culture. She's great for the guy that wants to learn more about music and art.

Her weaknesses

Don't keep going after her beacause you think her coolness will just suddenly rub off on you. If your interests don't match, don't expect you'll just roll along with her taste. Women like this have a lot of opinions, they want you to know the difference between one artist from another.

Her in the bedroom

She's a bad bad girl. Too bad her bed is also badly cleaned. Tell her if she cahnges her sheets before you come over, you'll take her to some wine festival or something.

The vegitarian yoga girl

Her strenghts

She's got great skin and she loves to give you back rubs with weird oils. All that yoga means she barely ever looses her temper, and it also means she has a great rear bottom. This is the kind of women that really wants to connect with life, and a man that wants the same can really get hooked with her. A analytical, independant, or creative guys could find her different view fascinating.

Her weaknesses

This women only wants men that are interested in the same things as her. So love everything about her, or not.

Her in the bedroom

You've seen kama sutra? Get buckled up, but no quickies. This women likes it slow and full of meaning.

The alpha female

Her strenghts

She graduated college early and went straight to law school without ever taking a break. She's difficult to keep up with. Ironically, she's not into alpha males. A school teacher will do well with this type of girl. If you're not into power plays, she won't fight you.

Her weaknesses

She has alot in common with alpha males but a raltionship with one would be too intense. They would never be able to make time for each other. If your a pushover type, don't even think about having a realtionship with her.

Her in the bedroom

She's skilled and efficient, but you're not going to get an animal out of her if you can't help her gaurd go down.

The intimacy addict

Her strenghts

She does yoga too, but it's more the kind that's about connecting to one's self rather than making a hot body. She'll get a little in-your-face, but so what? The sex is beyond amazing. This women is a great kisser. She's intense and very much into connecting. An independant man will love a deeply verbal girl. All men should date a women like this. This women will help any man to learn how to communicate.

Her weaknesses

She'll make you feel great a t first. She'll be so into you and your feelings. An analytical man will easily get hooked on this kind of girl, but later on there will be a lot of talk about the "meaning" of your realtionship. This could cause some trouble. Tread lightly.

Her in the bedroom

She will do anything. She might even do some things that will scare the shit out of you.

The house women

Her strenghts

She is no gold digger. All this kind of woman wants is a simple car and a cozy three bedroom house. She wants to take care of your children, and also take care of you. Many men love the ego from being the one that provides for the family, and that's okey. A man who grew up in a traditional household will love this woman. Also, a man that grew up in domestic chaos would also love her for the stable home she provides.

Her weaknesses

Don't expect her to get a job. This kind of arrangement works as it helps you to focus on your work as she takes care of the house, but if financial problams build up you might never convince her to apply for a job.

Her in the bedroom

She'll be eager at first and she'll try most things but as you have more kids, less so. Better get a babysitter to fix that.

Enjoy summer with this guide to hook up with women.

AT THE BEACH

Preparation: Before you go here, do a lot of sit-ups, go to the gym, and take care of any skin problems you have. Rashes are not hot.

The moves you need: Cocktail mixing; some good dance moves; skill in swimming. Cocktail mixing or just plain knowing about drinks can help you loosen up a woman before you make your move. You need to know to dance just in case the girl you hook up with is a "mega hot dancer" type of babe. Swimming will be needed just like in the movies. The girl is drowning and you save her.

Crappy pick-up line: "They say skinny dipping is fun. Want to try it with me?" Unless you're Brad Pitt, you deserve a punch in the face!

What you should say: It might be corny but try saying something about how the cool waves and the night sky makes you forget about the stressful life you have back in the city. Or just impress her with being "Mr. Sensitive" to get some precious time alone with the babe.

IN A CLUB

Preparation: Research. Check all the best bars and clubs and pick the best one for your wallet - of course, check the quality of the babes, music, and drinks.

The moves you need: Above average dancing. Dance floor hook-ups are still possible, so better learn some moves.

Crappy pick-up line: "Can I buy you a drink?" The only chance that will work is if the world suddenly turns into an old 90's movie.

What you should say: Before entering the club put this in mind, you are not leaving alone! Now bring out your most sexually attractive self. Start with being funny and end with a big bang by being a tease.

AT A HOTEL LOBBY

Preparation: Simple, just book yourself at a hotel located at a good vacation spot that has tons of babes.

The moves you need: The sweet and nice guy approach. At a hotel lobby, the only chance to hook up is if a girl needs help with her luggage or she doesn't know the way to the hotel bar. This is your chance to be her hero.

Crappy pick-up line: "Need rescuing?" To direct. Don't make her look like she's in desperate need of help.

What you should say: "Do you need some help?" is a very good start. Say all things go right, you might end the encounter with, "If you're free later, I can show you the awesome view in my room." But, this is very risky, so timing is very important. In case it does work then you know what's next: Order a lot of food and drinks then lock yourself in with her and do your thing.

Okey, everybody knows that the way to a woman's heart is through her ears. You know, "smooth" talk. Guys suck in communication, so, I'm going to help you out in the most troubling conversations. Making her laugh and shit during a conversation will work most of the time, but once you get to these, you're screwed.


THE STD TALK

She asks: "How many women have you slept with?"

You say: "Fifty-two."

Why that's dumb: Smooth move dumb ass. What she really meant was, "have you been tested for STDs?" But now that you've told her, she'll surely hold that against you.

Try it this way: "I'm not really into counting, but if you're worried I have an STD, I was tested last month." That is a lot better, also tell her that to make her feel better you'll go during the weekend. Then, really go, the more proactive you are, the more comfortable she'll be. That equals better sex, understand?

THE "PILL" TALK

She asks: "You got a condom?"

You say: "Why don't you go on the Pill?"

Why that's dumb: You think you're just being honest and direct. She thinks you're selfish. Anger happens. Sex does not.

Try it this way: "Do like how it feels when I wear a condom?" You got a shot here, most women would still prefer it all natural too. Take her answer as a jumping-off point to share what you really prefer. But don't expect her to say, "Sure, I'll see my Gynecologist tomorrow." So be willing to wait, try various condoms while she's still pondering on whether you're Pill worthy or not.

THE WHERE IS THIS GOIN' TALK

She asks: "Where's this going?"

You say: "Back off, man trap."

Why that's dumb: "You think she's asking why you haven't proposed. But what she really wants to know is if you see her in your short or long-term future. You feel cornered and walk out. She shatters you're TV. It's all good.

Try it this way: "Can we talk about this on Saturday?" You have to really think about where you guys are going before you yap or walk out. You don't have to have the right answer, she just wants you to think about the question. But if "no" is your answer, then say so. She's prepared for the worst, she'll take it well enough.

THE SEXUAL DESIRE TALK

She says: "Let's just snuggle tonight."

You say: "Why don't you ever want to get jiggy with me?"

Why that's dumb: Guilt is not hot. Selfishness, cold. Don't make it seem like you're only interested in getting laid, even if you are. If you show frustration, she'll freeze. Good bye to making sweet love.

Try it this way: "How about a massage?" She'll know your motives, but since you're putting her pleasure first, she might just overlook it. If she wants to snuggle, let her. Try again early in the morning. Women are most horny in the morning. Testosterone spikes and cuddling increases oxytocin. This formula equals jiggy in bed.

THE MONEY TALK

She asks: "Do you like my new shoes?'

You say: "You really need more shoes?"

Why that's dumb: No, she doesn't need the shoes, just like you didn't need a new Cam Phone. But she's modeling them in front of you now, so get over it.

Try it this way: "They look great on you." Then gently remind her about the vacation you're saving up for. If you haven't agreed on saving up for anything, start now. Money talks always start a fight. Put it gently.

THE "GIVE ME SPACE" TALK

She says: "I need a little space."

You say: "Have a nice life."

Why that's dumb: She isn't dumping you, she just wants a few days for herself. Or, she's testing to see how serious you really are with your relationship. You split, you fail.

Try it this way: "Take as much space as you need." Now that's the James Bond way. Chances are, she'll miss you and call you by the end of the week. While waiting for that call, think about your relationship-the good and the bad, and where you see it going-and put it in writing. Send the letter. She may not come sprinting back, but at least you've started conversation.

All you need to know to get her back, if you're sure you want to

So it went like this: She broke up with you. She said bye, thanks for everything. You were a great guy and all that. You can keep the T-shirt I gave you. Sayonara.

Or maybe she took back the shirt-but you ended up with all the regret. No matter what happened, after a few weeks you end up a total wreck. You end up drinking beer all day and watching crappy midday shows. You start having second thoughts or you sure as hell wish she is. You miss her. Her smile, the way she smells. The sex. All is gone.

Almost all of us at some point in life have experienced being alone so very suddenly. It's a terrible feeling, falling into an abyss of pizzas and sitting around doing nothing but mope. But, do you want her back? If so, stop moping and read on. Even though she has closed the door, she just might have left a window open.

What do you really want?

Is it her you miss? The regular sex? Or you just don't want her going out with someone else? To win your ex back only the purest of reasons will do. Can you look yourself in the eye and say it's her smile, the way she laughs, and her cooking that you can't live without? Al-righty, then.

Assess the damage.

Did the two of you just fade as the time passes? Or did you end up like a bunch of gorillas fighting over food? Strangely enough the latter has a chance for a part 2. If you broke up because love faded, the relationship will be harder to unfade. But if you left things hot, the coal might still be red, you just need to blow.

Another thing you should think of is whether you broke up due to a specific circumstance, such as a new job, or by differences.("I just realized I don't like you.") Mull over the last days you spent together, then...

Delete, erase, and double delete her number.

Do not call. And call. And call again. Men make this mistake a lot. Get a grip, man! You'll have a clearer sense of what you want, also can she, if you both take a breather. If you don't communicate with each other completely for a while, you'll find out what she really means to you. You'll be more sure if you really want her back.

Even more important is to get your ex to feel your gone. Let her experience not having you around and its impact. Sounds good does it not? Let her suffer through terrible blind dates, bad home movies, and hours alone sipping coffee as the mailbox gets full and her roof is still leaky.

Well, not exactly. Your giving her time to compare the before and the after. Time and distance is good as wit will help you realize that getting back together is not a response from loneliness, but a mature and grown-up choice. It may take a little time, maybe even a lot of time. Maybe even a year.

Put away your wallet.

When the time is right to finally do something else than wait, what's your move? Definitely not the flashy take me back. Forget buying her a dishwasher, or a submarine. All that does is show you're desperate. It's better if you try something simple. Try a rose-1 not 1 million- as an invitation to talk again, maybe coffee, nothing to flashy, and please nothing sexual. Talking might just be the only thing you need.

No sniveling.

What women never put on their list of most romantic things is pleading, it won't even reach the top 1ooo. This is a horrible approach. You trying begging her back, giving her flowers, chocolates, and then calling her every night. Then you see her the next day with her new boyfriend eating the chocos you gave her. You're pathetically attainable, she won't be interested.

Campaigning is unconvincing. It presents no evidence of promise, commitment and understanding, those are what she wants before she'll ever take you back. Don't just tell her what she wants to hear; explain yourself. You just might talk yourself out of it.

Do not be her new best friend!

Unless you want to start hearing about her sex life with her new man. Don't accept invitations for drinks or anything, and don't engage in hours of conversation on the phone with her. You may feel that being with her that way is better than nothing. You're wrong. You're into a world of hurt.

The best way for making the ex reconsider date or nothing. If she tries the f-word on you(I mean friend by the f) say it's either you're a couple or not. Tell her you don't want to hang out drinking coffee together pretending you don't feel for her. You have to back of from her so she'll change from being the pursued to the pursuer. If she wants what she can't have she'll be back. But if you let her see you as a buddy you'll never be her lover again. Being a friend with your ex is never an option. It'll hurt like hell if she doesn't come back, but it'll sure hurt more seeing her going out with other men.

I decided to interview my bestfriends girlfriend-without his permission. Sorry I have no picture of her-maybe nextime. Anyway, most women think alike and I wanted to figure out what women want most. Angel wasn't really in the mood for talking at the time but I was lucky enough to get this:

SHOW A LITTLE EMOTION. Angel wishes men would fight of their masculine stoicism every once in a while and show some heat. "Men don't realize that being so rational all the time makes them feel cold. It creates a bigger problem: Now you we have an emotional woman!" She laughs, and this laugh is evil. "There is no rational way to deal with that."

ONCE IN A WHILE, SHOW A LOT OF EMOTION. One time a guy totally broke down and bawled in front of Angel. She remembers it fondly. " Women deal with those emotions everyday," she says. " It's normal. It's heartfelt. It's honest."

NOTICE AND APPRECIATE. "Men forget about small gestures, " she says. "I don't want to tell you to thank me. That pisses me off. But if you take the time and look at those small little things, you would correct bigger problems. So notice and appreciate."

GO FOR REALISM. "There's this ideal woman that men think up in their heads," Angel says. "It's the same for women-they think up Prince Charming. I want a relationship that is real. My boyfriend always make me feel like I can be myself, no matter how great or messed up that is. Good, bad, in between. It's all beautiful

1. How "Put Together" You Are

Women won't go for a dishevelled, unmatched guy who hasn't had a haircut since God knows when. If a woman sees major structural damage-a brown belt with black slacks for instance- it means no woman has ever loved you enough to make you presentable.

2. What You're Carrying

You can call it a prop. A woman will call it a way of introducing yourself without saying a word. A tennis racket says, " I'm fit, boyishly competitive, and well off." A golf club says,"I got cash." A book says, "Wow, I read, I might even be sensitive!"A briefcase is also a total turn on to them, especially if it's old worn out leather. This means you're a hard worker. Synthetic says, " I'm stuffy and cheap."

3. A Bit of the "Inner You"

Women will see it through your eyes. They'll look for "honesty" and "sincerity" there. Eyes can tell how smart you are(do they look focused or glazed?), how healthy you are(bloodshot, yellow, or clear?), and how turned on you are(eyes dilate when you're aroused). Women do this subconsciously, they'll probably decide whether they like your eyes or not.

4. The Rest of Your Face

A women would most likely go for the guy without baby fat, with high cheekbones and large chins. This supposedly shows maturity. They're also suckers for cute expressive lips(keep em red guys).A recent study found women also like guys with feminine features. Girls that go for this type are ultra-femme. Anyway, a woman will go for a guy that matches her. A masculine woman wants a masculine guy and a femme wants...well you get the picture. So choose a women that seems to match you, If you look like The Hulk, don't go for a cute little femme.

5. Your Chest

She'll take a few peeks, though she won't stare like us men do.

6.The Hair on Your Head

One thing's first, can she run her hands through your hair? It should be yes. If you got the normal haircut, ditch it. Simply run your hand across the top of your head to get the artfully mused look. It'll give her fantasies of messing up your hair, even grabbing it in ecstasy as you tumble in bed. Being bald is okay, don't leave anything at the sides. Bald guys look wise and gentle, some women dig that. Long hair is cool, but make sure your hair is clean looking, otherwise play safe and keep it short.

7. The Hair on Your Face

The safest bet is to be without, except on weekends when you can have a little stubble- it shows you have testosterone.

8. Feet

This is crucial. Don't think you can wear really nice clothes and then wear cheap shoes without them noticing. Well they do. White sock with black shoes will end everything before you start. Running shoes are a big no too, except for when you're running. They might check your shoe size because of the myth that men with big feet have big... But they won't look at you're package until a few dates later, but they are curious.

9.Fingers

They're looking for a ring, women want a relationship, not just a moment.

10.Watches & Other Accessories

Women will look at your watch to get a peek at how much money you make. Statusy things attract women. Nothing too flashy though or she'll think you're a sugar daddy and find you intimidating. Sports watches are good except with uniform. A swatch means you still watch Saturday-morning cartoons(not necessarily a bad thing). Off label watches with cheap looking bands say you're cheap(definitely bad). Most women don't like too much jewelry, keep it simple(except if your looking for a hippie chick, feel free to pile on the crystals).

Men who are not as easily manipulated by women’s sometimes confusing, annoying, or even rude behavior cause women to feel attracted in a very powerful way.

An alpha dominant male who she can’t manipulate is instantly attractive to any woman.
Their state is relaxed, calm, of low energy.

Relaxed…

Alpha dominant males always remain calm in the face of possible anger. They don’t let anything phase them. They allow any perceived or overt insult to slip by and turn it around on HER.

They simply don’t react in the same way a beta man would.

Many times, unshakeable men naturally recognize these fits of hers, and you’ll see a sly smile on his face.

An alpha dominant male has no problem putting them in their place, and do so accordingly. They just never lose their temper while doing it. Think of James Bond. He NEVER loses it. He always remains cool.

Anything James Bond does is done with a slight smile and/or sarcastic smirk. Women cannot help themselves around a man who acts this way.

Women can’t help themselves around a man that stands his ground and revels in HER femininity.

This type of man trusts himself. He’s cool about the whole thing.

When you get good at this, women will use even more types of unconscious, and sometimes conscious testing tactics to bait you into an argument or friction to see how you react… to see if you’re the real thing.

Sometimes, for you, the solution to these testing tactics can be as simple as ignoring any conversational thread that’s aimed to bait you into arguing.

You have to remain in complete control. It isn’t about who’s right or wrong. If she gets out of line, you have to steer her in the right direction with your reactions.

I am going to teach you all you need to know about attracting women. I will teach you what to wear. I will teach you the do's and the dont's of getting a women, and how to keep that woman. Any woman you want, and I will do this all for free.

Things to Start With

-Confidence

I'm sure you've heard this a thousand of times. It really works, you don't have to be rich or extremely handsome to get an attractive women. Usually all you really need is the confidence to get up to that woman and talk to her like a man.
-Style

It's true you don't have to be extremely handsome to get a woman- but it does help. You just have to make up for that with clothes. I'm not talking about anything flashy, just wear clothes that fit right, I'm sure medium size is perfect. Shoes mean alot too.
-Grooming

Girls love a clean man. Some woman are attracted to guys with beards or goatees, but all women like the clean guy - so shave that monkey of your face. You should also use facial scrubs or something to keep pimples away, and don't forget moisturizer.And brush, not once, but twice after eating. If you have a clean face and body, she'll surely dig you.

And dude, don't ever go up to a woman totally drunk or smelling like an ashtray, she'll be, ahem ahem, apalled.

I'll built on all the things I've said here in later posts. Trust me, I've done my research.